The author sat there amazed at the very thought he had as he decided to write today’s part of a larger whole.
“I’ve been cheating the last few days – I must put something substantial together today!” It was second nature to think like this, in terms of effort put in. Despite the author’s knowledge that the art of writing (in which he doesn’t claim to be an expert… or even an intermediate…) is a non-linear one, old habits and beliefs of “quantity superiority” still persisted.
“Wait a moment”, the author mused, “Who am I cheating exactly?”
It was true – in this particular project he had no editor to appease, no deadline to meet, and perhaps as little as 1 regular reader. Who was he cheating if he ‘phoned a few in’, he wondered. It was only after he sat there for a moment, moving things about his desk, trying desperately to reorganize a life previously in motion of the past few days into one revolving around routine, that he realized that the only one he cheated was himself. A promise he had made, a goal he had set. And in cheating in the project, he was cheating himself. Being his harshest critic but also a critic who could shift perspective, the author knew he was too being too hard on himself. Another goal might be to let himself slide every once in awhile.
“Maybe I can phone in just one more”, he reasoned with himself, “After all, I did have a good idea earlier I could flesh out for tomorrow”. Reluctantly, the part of him that kept the rest so strictly in check let loose.
“Just don’t make it too obvious”, it warned as it allowed the seldom slacking off.