Tag: time

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#11 Eleven Men and a Box

They sat in the room arranged around the table. The room was feeling pretty familiar by this point, they’d been there before quite a few times. Tom was gone, he’d ventured out to get something or another, but the rest remained, tired and worried.

The beginning of a new task always requires effort, and trying to transition from one state of affairs to another would be a greater challenge than anyone expected. There were so many questions to be answered, and none of them were quite prepared to tackle them. It had only been a few days, plans were uncertain.

At the door lay a plain box made of wood. It’s rough surfaces sanded down smooth, and despite varnish, it seems to reflect light in a subtle way. If the room had been darker, it might have seemed that the box was glowing on it’s own, but in the late-day sun filling the room, the box just appeared slightly lit, ominous in it’s simplicity and unattended nature. No man dared to open it, while all were curious.

Phil spoke up first, asking what they were going to have for dinner. Others grumbled, not sure if they were even in the mood to eat. That first week had been really tough, and they’d all lost a few pounds, although no scales were handy to verify this. They were all sure that in the weeks to come, they’d still not be quite back up to the affairs of the world. They were creating their own world, here in the room, waiting for the right time to act. The right time, they could not know at this point, would come in a flash several weeks from now. It would push them out of their haze, into the world, to meet all the benefits and consequences that they were destined for. But for now, without that flash of inspiration, they sat here. Some occasionally spoke, some told a joke or anecdote, and some were moved to tears at the insanity of it all. Throughout it all, the box remained.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, and when they opened it, they were shocked at who it was. He sat down with them, and listened as they spoke. It was amazing that now, even though they had questions to ask of him, they did most of the talking. He patiently listened as the conversations gradually turned more light in nature. Someone, probably James or Jack went out to get some food, and they all ate together. He left a few hours later, mentioning that he’d be happy to open the box for them sometime, if they didn’t do it themselves. They thanked him.

Thus it went on for several weeks. The number changed a few times, as people came and went. Sometimes there were nine in the room, other times twelve, and always the meal was exquisite. On his last visit, he did indeed open the box, and the surprise it held flew out at them.

“You’ve really got to get moving”, he told them on that last visit. “The box is open, I’m going on a trip, and this room is awfully depressing in a way, don’t you think?”. They agreed, and left with him. Many went separate ways, but they would never forget what they learned in that room, or from the contents of the box.

[SSDay]

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#6 – An Open Letter to the Coffee Bean

Dear Mr. Bean,

I feel compelled to write an open letter to you on behalf of my many friends who display a certain addiction to you. While I, myself, enjoy a cup of coffee on a regular basis, I have yet to experience all mood changes, productivity lapses, anti-social behavior incidents, temporary bouts of insanity, and other acts of tomfoolery attributed to the absence of your caffeine goodness. Others I know, however, are a different story.

There’s Mr. X who is quite perplexed at daily affairs without warm care.
There’s Mrs. Y who would rather die than live without you for a day or two.
There’s Mr. Zed who’s liable to lose his head if during a fight you should decide to take flight.
There’s Mrs. A, who just today, told me she was addicted as I had predicted.
There’s Mr. B who I never see without a mug of your warm drug.
There’s Mrs. C who would be quite irate without her brewed mate.
There’s Mr. D who, just like B, appears quite the scene without you, Mr. Bean
There’s Mrs. E who longs to be in your embrace during the rat race.
There’s Mr. F who seems bereft as he drowns the last sip of your soft nip.
There’s Mrs. G, a widow you see, who once drank tea but abandoned him for ye.
There’s Mr. H who with I can relate, he wonders aloud why your devotees are so avowed.
There’s Mrs. I who wishes she could be dry, your spell holds her tighter than any guy.

And finally there is Me, a gold card member you see, who is beyond your spell – I don’t need you I tell! I just wish that in time, I could drop all this rhyme. Without relying on your frequent aid!

Sincerely,
Mr. J.

[SSDay]

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#2 Freezing

“Watch tonight, I’ll be freezing”, said the lady as she walked into the cafe. She was just starting her shift, doomed to repeat an eight to ten hour cycle that she had done countless times before. She would prepare the same things, for the same people, for nearly the same price, and receive the same lack of respect for her position behind the counter, taking orders from the big shots and unimpressed, as they stared at her over their iPhones and Macbooks.

“It’s warm now, but it’ll cool off”, the lady continued as she observed her co-worker, Rob, rap to himself as he pushed the broom across the floor. She was speaking to no one in particular, for no reason. She found herself doing that more and more as of late, as she slipped into the midlife minutia she seemed destined to stay in for her entire existence. She’d be working this job today, tomorrow, and forever until either she won the lottery (there was always hope), the store closed (there was always fear), or the man of her dreams swept her off her feet and out of this life (there was always the impossible). For now she consoled herself as she went about her work – 8 more hours, 7.5 more hours, 6 more hours, 5 more hours.

“I told you it was going to turn colder” she said to Rob, as the snow began to fall outside the windows of the cafe. She’d be walking home in it, the five blocks to her apartment in the Bronx, on this cold February night. She’d lived there for 10 years, in the same small apartment as her sister had lived in, until her sister passed. She had only a few friends who might come visit, and none of them were the type to volunteer to walk home with her tonight in the impending chill. 3 more hours… 2 more hours.

“Did it stop? No, it’s still going” she said in a sad, resigned voice. Her entire life could be summed up on the walk tonight, she thought as she ate her free meal. Aside from the meals she got while working at the cafe, she rarely ate. This was by choice. Eating without anyone to share it was somewhat boring and only reminded her that she lived much of her existence alone. But in an hour she’d be walking, and in a little over an hour she’d be home. She would make it through tonight, just as she had every other night.

“The handle is cold!” she exclaimed as she locked the door to the cafe. Most employees weren’t trusted with the keys, but when you’re stuck in a job for 15 years, and will likely be there 30 more, they start to believe in your honesty, to an extent. Rob wandered off to the subway as she began walking toward home. True to her thoughts earlier in the day, she felt the cold on her skin, her breath emanating in front of her. It was about 3 blocks from the cafe that she saw the eyes watching her. She heard the rustle from the alley, and turned just in time to see him approach.

“No….” she managed to squeak as he inched toward her, tall and imposing, cloaked in tattered clothes and coats. She turned to run, but slipped on the icy sidewalk. She was laying there, helpless as he approached. She couldn’t say a word, the chill of the weather and her fear kept her silent. As he stood over her, he brought up his gnarled, dirty hand.

“It’s cold”, he said, as he opened his palm to help her up. He righted her, and looked into her eyes. “Hungry” he said, as he backed away and held out his hand.

In that moment she thought about her life, her sorrows, and her worries. Her day of problems, her moments of fear, her self-loathing, all washed away as she considered the man in front of her. As she stood there, wondering what her next move should be, she found herself overcome. As he watched, tonight, she was freezing.

[SSDay]

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What Is The RCIP?

RCIP is the abbreviation I’m using for something that is definitely not a diet. No sir, no way, it’s not a diet at all. Diet means, at least to me, that I’d deny myself parts of my life that I find highly enjoyable in the vain goal of looking better. Diets are what stick-thin people already do because “I have to lose that last 10 pounds” or “I’m sooo fat… I’m like 130!”. Diets are exercises in restraint with lofty dreams of future compliments.

RCIP, or a Reduced Calorie Intake Plan, is not a diet. It’s a choice I made 2.5 weeks ago, and it’s got absolutely nothing to do with looking better – it has everything to do with survival. You see, I simply can’t stay the weight I am now, or I’ll be dead sooner than I like. I’ve known this for some time, but over the last few months I’ve decided I care enough about it to do something. You see, diets are about controlling urges, RCIPs are about rejecting apathy.

So starts a new series of blog entries, for anyone who cares, which will talk about where I am, what I’m doing, and how I’m trying to lose weight to get down to a healthy size. Size is relative, because while I believe I can definitely lose fat around my midsection and on other parts of me, I doubt I’ll lose my broad shoulders, large hands, etc… And that’s fine – as long as I can look a MD in the eye and have them tell me that I’m doing alright weight wise, even if that weight is what some might think of as “fat”, I’m happy. I figure that’s somewhere between 200 – 250 for me, so my goal is to investigate it more fully once I get down to the upper bounds of that range. In the mean time, the goal is simple, lose weight quickly but safely.

I posted a few weeks ago that I knew my weight for the first time, and invited anyone who cared to ask me for it. Admittedly my first weigh-in was at the wrong time (i.e. it was just after dinner, fully clothed, etc..), but the number didn’t change much over the next few days. My starting weight was 419.2 lb on Friday, March 18, 2011. However for comparison and for the “official lb lost” count, I’m using 415.6 on Tuesday, March 22, 2011. Since that day I’ve lost 12 lb, taking me to this morning’s reading of 403.6.

I’ve been losing by counting calories (using both fitbit.com and myfitnesspal.com which has an infinitely better menu db), and using the fitbit tracker which has helped me see how many calories I’ve burned. I generally burn around 4k a day, and try to take in around 2500. A severe drop in what my body was getting, something I realize. However I do splurge on occasion (in fact tonight I’ll be visiting a favorite restaurant that I could “over do it” at, although I’m going to attempt not to!). Largely I’ve done nothing other than limit my calorie intake. My eventual goal is to incorporate exercise sometime this summer, although I want to get to a weight where the stress on my body isn’t as severe, perhaps around 360 lb.

So follow along if you’d like to keep track of my progress. Let me know tips if you have them, make comments if you’d like, etc… I hope to write on a number of topics over the next few months, including my thoughts on “control issues versus apathy”, caloric equilibrium, meal sizes/times, and more.

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Come And Get It: Mandate Now Available (& On Sale!)

It’s ready, it’s ready, it’s ready!!!

Got some time this weekend and feel like reading something that someone you know has written? Well you’ve come to the right place. Mandate is done, and ready for you in a bunch of different formats!

It’s been a fun journey, and now I’m ready to share 😉 Below is my “Blurb” if you want to know more. And you can always visit the Get Mandate site for all the info on the book!

Rich Heel is an average American. He works a somewhat steady job, has two kids, and a loving wife. He cares about his family and others, but doesn’t care much for politics. All of that changes after a chance encounter on television, a seemingly overnight campaign, and a landslide election that propels Rich from a nobody to the most powerful man in the world. But as Rich finds out, things aren’t always easy to understand, even at the top. And as he soon discovers, as a somebody, you’re the perfect target for anybody.

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Mandate Update & Unreleased Tidbits!

Since most of my public updates on Mandate, my novel, have come in the form of quick Twitter posts and status updates, I figured I’d actually write down some more than 140 characters to let everyone know where I’m at. And while I’m at it, I’m going to let slip a few things that no one knows yet about the novel as it reaches it’s halfway point.

First of all, Mandate’s first draft is officially halfway finished as of now. It’s been just over 2 months since I started writing, and my plan as of now is to have the first draft written by Labor Day. Revisions will then begin, and if all goes according to plan (who knows if it will), I’ll have it ready to go by mid-October. You guys will obviously know more than others, since you’ve been following since the beginning.

My schedule has actually deviated a few times, and it’s taught me some valuable things about writing fiction (as opposed to the non-fiction I normally write for work). Namely, inspiration is everything. Case and point? I was on a Chapter a week schedule until mid-June when I took a week to travel to Salt Lake to see my friend Steve. While in Salt Lake I had absolutely no desire to write, and so I didn’t (Felt a little guilty about that). Upon coming back, I had another heavy week and found myself 2 weeks behind schedule. On June 27, I should have been working on Chapter 7. In reality I was working on the beginning of Chapter 5. Ugh.

This week, the week according to my goals set in mid-may should have seen me working on Chapter 9, actually saw me finishing chapter 6 on Monday. But then for whatever reason, I got inspired. Chapter 7 was pounded out in just 3 days, and I am now about 20% through Chapter 8. By mid-week next week I’ll probably be on Chapter 9.

One might wonder why I’m tracking my progress in this way. After all, a novel is a creative exercise, why burden myself with chapter deadlines of my own whim? When it’s done it’s done, why keep a stringent regiment of writing for an hour each day? And why even have a chapter outline forcing myself to put certain plot elements in at certain times. That doesn’t sound very creative, expressive, or spontaneous now does it?

Damn right it doesn’t sound that way – because if I did just sorta “go with the flow”, there is a great chance that this thing would never be done. We’ve all probably seen the following Family Guy clip, but it’s worth watching:

When I originally watched that, years ago, I thought it was funny. Now it gives me what some would call the “douche chills“. I don’t know how other fiction writers with 1 book under their belt feel, but as a writer in other contexts I know that if I don’t have some sort of structure to my own work, I could easily become like Brian in the clip above. Incidentally in a recent episode Brian finishes his book, after many years. I don’t want to take that chance, I want this damn thing to be done at some point! So in order to do that, I’m keeping on a schedule, and posting regular updates.

Second of all, I’ve decided to let you guys in on a few pieces of info regarding the book. Why? Well to keep you interested damnit! I realize my “only tell you the title” thing is a bit annoying. Originally this was because I was going to incorporate reader ideas into the book and didn’t want you to try to answer in a way that would change the plot. Not that I think it would have occurred – but I figured I’d keep it vague to encourage spontaneous responses from you guys.

Well for the most part, asking questions flopped. I have a few good ones which I’m saving and will probably put in during revisions of the book, but in general I stopped asking when people stopped responding. Some even thought I abandoned the project all together, which thankfully I did not.

So what tidbits am I going to tell you? Well I’m going to answer a few questions on here that others have asked me before.

Question: So you’re writing a Science Fiction novel right? you’re a computer geek yourself, and a Sci Fi fan, so that’s what it’s about right? I bet it’s set far in the future!
OK, this one amazed me since more than one person asked it. I’m sad to say this to all you sci fi hopefuls, but the book is not Science Fiction. It does feature a highly improbable plot (Of course if it featured a probable plot it would be pretty damn boring right?), and it IS set in the future. How far in the future you ask? About 2 years. Sorry, not much has changed in my 2 years in the future history.

Question: Is it about you?
So the story is written in the first-person, which means through the eyes of my main character. While he shares a few things in common with me (for example, at the start of the book his job involves some of the things I’ve done in the past to make a living), he isn’t me. For one thing, he’s older. They say you should write what you know, so in that sense many of the characters have aspects to their personality that are like me, but I wouldn’t say anyone in the book is patterned off of me or anyone I know. That being said, I do have one character engage in some rather odd behavior I once witnessed a friend do. Why? Because it was funny to watch at the time and thus funny to write about from a slightly different perspective.

Question: When will I get to read it?!?
Ah, you want to actually read the book so you can validate all those feelings of mediocrity I feel by telling me it’s “OK”. Sure, we can do that. Once the first draft is done, and the prologue and first chapter are revised, I’ll be making them available for free. You’ll find information on that when it’s time, hopefully toward the end of September.

Third of all, and last, Why the hell am I doing this?

This is a question I’ve gotten and I think it really deserves more than just a paragraph to explain.

So I’m a part-time computer geek and full-time psychologist (Some times I use the fancy term “Behavioral Economist” when I’m actually studying financial decisions, but mostly I’ll just say I’m a researcher or psychologist). On my wall hangs various degrees that look very nice, and buried away I have awards and certificates related to my writing for Windows Phone Thoughts and my enthusiasm for Microsoft products. I also have dozens of odd-ball websites and videos out there. But I don’t have any background in fiction, have never taken a creative writing class, and have never shown any interest in novel writing before. So why now? Good question.

I’m writing this book for 3 reasons:

1. I’ve always wanted to write something substantial (yes, as someone pointed out to me, I suppose I’m not counting my dissertation) and interesting to read. I just never had a good idea before. The author note in the book will lay out how I got this idea, and tortured half-started writing projects on my hard drive and testify that I’ve started projects in the past that have never gotten even 1/20th as far as Mandate has. Call it my “Bucket List” or whatever you want, but at some point I want to be able to say I wrote a novel. It just sounds cool.

2. Here’s the goal that appeals to my computer side. I’m really curious how one goes about self-publishing a book in both physical and electronic form. Is it really possible for Joe Schmo (or Jon Westfall) to wake up one day and start writing, and months later have their product available in respectable book sellers or at least in a form that looks like a real book. If it’s promoted, does it really have a chance of becoming even slightly successful (by the way, my definition of success would be to sell it to 3 people whom I haven’t met – that would be cool). So in order to find out how the whole self-publishing thing works in 2010, I need to have something to self-publish.

3. Here’s the goal that appeals to my psych side: This project gets me writing on a regular schedule and used to sitting down and creating something. After writing fiction, which is completely made up, taking theories I already have developed and tested and getting them written down should be easier. After all, I already know the entire plot of a research paper, whereas Mandate has been developing in a rather looser fashion (In Week 1 of writing I knew the rough plot, but details don’t get filled in until much later, and I’m still not completely sure the details of how the protagonist overcomes the actions of the antagonist). In short, this summer writing project is fun and hopefully helpful. If reason 3 doesn’t work out though, it was still fun.

So that’s why I’m writing.  So to Recap this long post: You now know a bit more about the book than just the title. It’s called Mandate, it’s not science fiction, it’s set 2 years in the future, and I’m not in it (Although I’m seriously considering giving myself a cameo as “guy on the train” or something like that). I’m writing it because I want to, and I want to learn more (Sorta like why I bought a bunch of VoIP hardware a few years ago to teach myself about VoIP technology). Lastly, If you’ve made it through this post so far, you’ll also be richly rewarded for your time spent by getting sneak previews and more tidbits in the future. How so? Well, because you’ll know about the Newsletter I’m starting to blast out Mandate Updates. So Sign up now, and get the inside scoop as a weirdo psychologist geek works on the second-half of his first novel.

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