|Dear soul in search of mystical enlightenment,
You have reached the inner Facebook sanctum of the Harasstrology society, founded by me, Jon. Here at the Harasstrology department, we believe that people need to be told the truth about how their day will really go, not given some sugar coated thing they will post and later think "Gee, that didn't give me a clue as to how horrible today was going to be". In that spirit of honesty, I bring you the Horriblescope application, scientifically designed to give you an accurate picture of the day.
P.S. I SWEAR this is just as scientifically/spiritually/metaphysically accurate as any other horoscope program on FB - so since it's devoid of advertising, you really should use it instead of those guys!
Ready to get your Horriblescope?