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Today Sean Penn, Duggar Family, &
Bourne Ultimatium show up. As does some desperate replacement
parenting!
OK, Here's today's list;
1. Sean Penn
Sean Penn wants Dennis Kucinich to be President. As someone who has
personally met Kucinich, I can only conclude that Sean has some
mental problems. His latest stunt, of meeting Hugo Chavez (who
knows, maybe Chavez gives great hard-to-find autographs), seems to
me to be a painful way to try to get his name in the news. Yea, we
know you don't like Bush. Yea, we know you rally against the
establishment. Yea, we also know you haven't had a hit movie in a
few years...
2. Duggar Family
So they have 17 children. All I can figure here is that people all
over the world with substandard lives are pointing and going "At
least I don't have 17 kids". My professional analyses? Either they
really love kids, or they really love unprotected sex.
3. Bourne Ultimatium
<Yawn> Movie Release. Apparently people want to know about it
before going to see it. Imagine that.
4. Underdog
<Yawn> Another movie release. Nothing too special about
talking dog movies in general. However Underdog is not the name
I'd like for my super hero. The Underdog is traditionally the
loser, isn't he?
5. Michael Strahan
It's great to see overpayed already-millionaires screwing up
football teams this early in the year. With Strahan and Vick
messing up the pre-season, who knows what the regular season will
bring. I still say the Browns will suck, however.
6. Paula Zahn
Ah yes, America, where TV Journalists rank right up there with
football players as far as personalities. Anyone else think our
news journalists shouldn't have any sort of stardom in their own
right? In any event, she's leaving CNN, a network I don't want,
or know anyone who does watch.
7. Dolly Parton
WooHoo, Dolly is touring again. Now I just hope she gains a bit of
weight as she looked slightly like a skeleton last I saw her.
She's still got her biggest assets (her hit songs, what did you
think I meant?) and she's probably ripe for a "Mega Tour" to
bolster her career. Funny how some celebs like Dolly never need to
try to get their name in lights, and others (e.g. #1) seem to have
such a hard time keeping it there.
8. Legally Blonde
Reese Witherspoon is destined to always have this asinine movie
title attached to her name. She's teaming up with Avon, and all
the news media can do is make unfunny headlines using a movie title
from years back. On the plus side, rentals are probably up today.
9. Summer Activities for Children
Guess Mom & Dad need some help getting those creative juices
flowing in the last few weeks of summer. Here's a tip - spend more
time talking with your kid for ideas than surfing the net. Perhaps
you'll find something they're already interested in that you can
help develop, rather than finding brand new ideas and trying it out
on them...
10. Charles Simic
OMG - We have a new Poet Laureate. This is huge man - crowds of
screaming girls throwing underwear while sexually confused men
ponder a new crush on the man of verses. OK, so perhaps I'm being
a bit too cruel here. It's great this guy can have a new post to
put on his resume. However, outside of the English Major world, who
really cares about the Poet Laureate?
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